Friday, April 1, 2011

Finding A Therapist

I made a call this morning. This isn't my first time at the rodeo, but I've never sought help for such a specific issue like this either, so I'm not sure how exactly to proceed. It's not like there's an ACOD therapist directory. (Right? I'd love to find out I'm wrong.)

So I'm looking at:

Family of Origin issues
Divorce Issues
Grief and Loss therapy

I've really only found one name so far. I've met with a total of 4 therapists in my life: 1 was a great fit, 1 was okay, and 2 were definite mismatches. That chemistry issue is pretty huge.

Does anyone have any ideas or pointers here?


  1. Vanessa, I am in pretty much the same boat as you. I am sorry to say I don't really have any pointers because I, myself, have not been too successful at it. I have met with a therapist on staff at the church I attend MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) at. She is super nice, but I feel like she just listens without really offering many pointers at all. And right now, I really feel like I need some pointers on how to handle big things like forgiveness, etc, etc. I am in a mom's group so I put some feelers out to see if anyone could recommend someone. I have a list now, but I have not been brave enough to call any of them yet. It is SOOOO hard. I feel like even a lot of therapists out there have that old "You're an adult, you should be able to handle this" kind of attitude. With all that being said, I think you are doing great at researching and making sure you pick the right person for you. I hope you do find someone that is right for you. I am sorry I could not be much help, but I can sympathize!

  2. First off, congrats to you for taking that first step. I know it's really hard. I started seeing a therapist back in November and it was an extremely tough step for me. I didn't want to admit that I was vulnerable and needed help. But it's actually been a good thing for me. I started seeing someone who specializes in family/marriage counseling (I think that's a great area to look) and she's been really great. She has lot's of great knowledge and has dealt with this sort of thing in the past. My only pointers would be this: trust your instincts and find someone you feel comfortable with. Don't try to find something to say each session--the words will come out on their own. I actually wrote a blog entry about counseling (and will probably write more) so check it out:

  3. As a therapist and a periodic therapy client myself I recognize how difficult it can be to find a therapist that fits. I always tell people I speak to focus on the connection versus a particular set of letters/credentials (for the most part psychotherapists are equally qualified). The most learned therapist is not going to be helpful if you don't connect with them. It is also OK to "interview" the person - if the prospective therapist won't spend a few minutes talking to you about his or her approach and experience they are likely not a good fit. MVoom is right as well don't worry about filling the session, I always see it as my job to create an environment that is comfortable and to take the pressure to perform off the client. Finally I would go a directory such as or and look at therapist profiles and websites if they have them. This should help you narrow down your search in finding the perfect therapist for you. good luck.